You want to be patient.

You want to listen instead of defend.

You want to let things go instead of replaying them for hours.

You want to handle difficult moments in ways that feel like you.

But when someone pushes your buttons, knowing who you want to be doesn’t always mean you can access her.

I help women understand why that happens—and learn what to do when it does.

When You Get Emotionally Stuck, You Lose Yourself.

Maybe you snap at someone you love.

Maybe you shut down.

Maybe you get defensive and try to prove your point.

Maybe you hold onto resentment long after something has happened..

Or maybe the entire reaction happens inside your head—you replay what happened, obsess about what someone meant, or spend hours thinking about what you should have said.

These can look like completely different problems.

But often, they’re signs of the same thing:

You’re emotionally stuck.

Getting emotionally stuck means becoming caught in a feeling, thought, or behavior that is pulling you away from the person you want to be.

And the hardest part is that when you’re stuck, you often don’t realize you’re stuck.

You think you’re right.

You think they need to understand.

You think this shouldn’t be happening.

Your reaction feels justified.

So you keep going.

Until eventually you realize:

This isn’t who I want to be.

There’s a Way Back.

For more than a decade, I’ve been teaching a simple five-step process called The unSTUCK Method®.

STOP. TUNE IN. UNCOVER. CONSIDER. KINDNESS.

The Method helps you slow down what normally happens so quickly and automatically that you can lose yourself inside it.

Not so you’ll never get angry.

Not so nothing will ever bother you.

And not so you’ll handle every difficult moment perfectly.

So that when you do become emotionally stuck, you’ll know what to do.

“Shira Gura has a totally new approach to mindfulness,

effective even for those for whom ‘be in the moment’ advice has never worked!”

— Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times Bestselling Author

Start With The unSTUCK Method®

In the book, you’ll learn:

Why you lose yourself in difficult moments
Understand what’s actually happening when you know who you want to be but can’t seem to access her.

How to recognize when you’re emotionally stuck
Learn to notice the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that can keep you caught—even when your reaction feels completely justified.

How to get yourself unstuck
Learn the five steps you can use before, during, or even after a difficult moment to help you find your way back to choice.

You’ll also come with me into real moments from my own life and see how I’ve used The Method in relationships, parenting, misunderstandings, mistakes, resentment, worry, and everyday situations.

Because the goal isn’t to never get emotionally stuck again.

The goal is to become someone who knows how to get herself unstuck.

Hi, I’m Shira Gura.

I’m an author, teacher, and creator of The unSTUCK Method®.

And I didn’t create this Method because I was particularly good at handling difficult moments.

I created it because I wasn’t.

I knew what it was like to snap at someone and regret it. To hold onto something long after it happened. To replay conversations. To become convinced I was right.

And to look back afterward and think:

That’s not who I want to be.

I didn’t need more reminders to calm down or “be present.”

I needed a way to work with myself when I was already caught inside the moment.

That’s what eventually became The unSTUCK Method.

I’ve now spent more than a decade practicing it, teaching it, and helping others learn how to use it in their own lives via my books, The Emotionally Unstuck podcast, live workshops and The Unstuck Together program and community (learn more when you purchase my book).

I still get emotionally stuck.

The difference is that now I know how to find my way back.

And that’s what I want to teach you.

What Becomes Possible When You Know How to Get Unstuck?

“If I didn’t use this method, I would snap back at the person. Just reacting. Afterwards, I’d feel guilt—like I’m not a good person. Thank God for The unSTUCK Method®. I can handle things so much better now and I’m proud of myself.” – Lena

“I was at a place where every little thing my husband did bothered me.  Now I have the tools to handle the moment, in the moment. It’s like an anchor. Instead of flying off the handle, it reminds me to take a breath and handle it.” – Ilene

“I always felt like I was at the mercy of other people’s choices and things that were happening to me. The unSTUCK Method showed me how much more capable I really am to weather the hard things. It makes me feel more empowered and aligned with how I want to show up in any given experience.” – Krista

“My pattern was I would get upset and then hold onto it and hold on, and hold on, and I couldn’t let it go. I learned how to deal with things, not just push my feelings away. It’s so much easier to get through the day and I feel so much better. ” – Debby

You Don’t Have to Handle Every Difficult Moment Perfectly.

You just need to know what to do when you don’t.

Start with The unSTUCK Method®.

Learn why you get emotionally stuck, how to recognize it, and the five steps that can help you find your way back to yourself.